I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
