I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
