we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
