I want to stick my p in your. b.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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