Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
