So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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