She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
