Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
