I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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