like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm too high and old for this...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
