You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
