I think scott just propositioned me for sex
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
