I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
