It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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