I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
