that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
