Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
