He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
