I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
