she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
