Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
