thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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