I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize