he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Swine flu is the new snow day.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
