no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
