And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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