Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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