i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
