mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
