so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
literally had 100 drinks last night.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
