Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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