We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
