Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
