I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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