Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
