You can't special order awesome
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
