i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize