Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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