i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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