So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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