The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
