There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
