whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
