1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
