You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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