Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
