So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
