All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
