We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
