Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
