Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
