i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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