my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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