We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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