So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
