My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My vagina just recognized that song.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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