Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
