what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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