How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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