Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
