Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
