Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
