a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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