I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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